muses

I hate suffering. That’s what I told God many years ago when I was confronted with the truth that as a Christian, I would have to suffer. Later on, I learned to accept suffering, but more of with a resigned attitude. I knew in my mind that as a Christian, identifying with Jesus means partaking in the fellowship of sharing in His suffering, but I guess it was just mental assent. I think I have my share of inconveniences and hiccups in my Christian journey, but I dare not label them as sufferings. To me, suffering is what the persecuted church went through and my difficulties are just not in the same league.

Inevitably, I had to be confronted by the issue at Adult Fellowship tonight. I thought I knew James 1:2-4, but I realised that I didn’t.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

‘Consider it pure joy’? How could one do that in the face of trials? And it’s pure, unadulterated joy! That would be supernatural, I thought. Perhaps I could psycho myself and keep repeating ‘I’m joyful, I’m joyful’ even when trials besiege me. But we discovered that pure joy is only possible when we have the end in mind, i.e. the testing of faith develops perseverance, which results in maturity and completeness when finished. This maturity is the fullness of Christ. Do I want to have Christ’s character? You bet. But I will have to be tested. And God tests and disciplines me because I’m His child!

I’m too much of a creature of comfort. I think I just want everything to be 顺顺利利, without fuss and hassle. Perhaps that’s why I resist meeting and shepherding people. I just want to avoid the suffering of being too involved in people’s lives. So, my attitude has been wrong all the while.

Even as I became aware of my shortcomings, Baofang (my GDL) asked me what I was going to do with my awareness. “You know a lot, but you didn’t apply what you know.” I think so too. Help! I responded that I would really consider and meditate on the word of God, and pray that I would grow in conviction.

“Abba, please help me. I’m a presumptuous creature who is slow to obey by faith. Suffering is difficult to embrace, but I want to change because I know that You use suffering to cause your children to grow, and that’s because you love us. I know You love me and want me to grow. Teach me to die so that I may grow. Help me to die so that Christ may live in me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Passivity is a plague among Christians. It’s not just that we don’t do anything; it’s that we feel spiritual for not doing anything. We imagine that our inactivity is patience and sensitivity to God’s leading. At times it may be; but it’s also quite possible we are just lazy. When we hype-spiritualize our decisions, we can veer off into impulsive and foolish decisions. But more likely as Christians we fall into endless patterns of vacillation, indecision, and regret. No doubt, selfish ambition is a danger for Christians, but so is complacency, listless wandering, and passivity that pawns itself off as spirituality. Perhaps our inactivity is not so much waiting on God as it is an expression of the fear of man, the love of the praise of man, and disbelief in God’s providence.

Kevin DeYoung, Just Do Something, pp. 50-51 (quoted from here)

With the two previous post mentions on busyness, I thought I should offer something to those who aren’t busy at all. I hope we don’t go the other extreme and not do anything either. We are really creatures with the propensity to sin, so whether we go one way or the other, we could still miss God. How we need His Spirit’s leading!

There’s a new book titled Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller, pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in NYC. I must say that the book feature in Christianity Today makes me want to buy the book (now, that is good marketing). Anyway, an excerpt of the book suggests some insightful ways to identify our idols:

1. Look at our dreams and imagination and see what we habitually think about to get joy and comfort in the privacy of our hearts
2. Examine how our money is spent. Where your treasure is, there is your heart also” (Matt 6:21). Your money flows most effortlessly toward your heart’s greatest love.
3. Ask yourself, what is your real, daily functional salvation? What are you really living for, what is your real—not just your professed—God? A good way to discern this is how you respond to unanswered prayers and frustrated hopes.
4. Look at your most uncontrollable emotions. Look for your idols at the bottom of painful emotions, especially those that never seem to lift and that drive you to do things you know are wrong.

I encourage you to read the article here.

***

Right after reading the first point on identifying our idols, I knew what my idol is. I guess I’ve been afraid to admit how much I long for it. It is definitely very much different from the independent and nonchalent image that people associate me with. Do I want to get rid of it? Of course, but I know that it won’t be easy. In the end, it’s the consistent call to set my mind and heart on things above.

Help me, Abba.

(Some of these photos are rather outdated. Sorry about that. Forgot to upload.)

Sometimes, truth is all around, if we open our eyes to see them.

I love the play with letters for the following. It’s the branding for Scape, the new mall beside Cineleisure.

You know how it is that we recognise words even when they are misspelled as long as the first and last letters are intact? Like we can recognise ‘words’ even when it’s misspelled as ‘wrods’. So, ‘watch this space’ becomes  ‘wacth tihs scape’, which is what the new mall is called - scape! Clever, isn’t it?

I haven’t stepped into the not-so-new Ion Orchard (yes, I’m sua ku), but I don’t have to do so to tell of the transformation of Orchard Road. What’s with the glitzy glass facades? Walking down from my office to Paragon today, I counted more building works in that area than the fingers on one hanger: TripleOne Somerset, Meritus Mandarin, 313 Somerset, Heeren, Park Hotel, Paragon (wasn’t it renovated not so long ago?)…  How much do we have to spend? It just reminds me of what Philip Yancey wrote in ‘Finding God in unexpected places’, of the materialism that we pursue. We invest so much energy in the physical life, yet it is so transient, so ephemeral…

[Having Quiet Time in the kitchen, with the Bible open in front of me]

Mother: 你读圣经有没有考试的啊？

Me: 没有啊。谁考我？神啊？

Mother: 不知道啊。

Me: 我读圣经是要认识神，不是为了考试。就算考试及格了，能做什么？

Mother: 作牧师啰。

Me: 。。。