muses

It’s one of those days when you wake up and there’s this annoying migraine. You just feel like getting a drill to bore a hole in your skull and hopefully, all that is creating the migraine will flow out. Yes, I know that it sounds morbid and disgusting, but that’s what I think of when I am suffering from a migraine.

Anyway, Take That’s back! Haha… I never thought I would see this, but they are… Got a snapshot of them in their MTV, Patience, over a month ago. Dsc00186 Been thinking of getting their comeback album, but not moving… I still remember the days in secondary school when I played their CDs and sang along to their songs. And I did this every day. The effect is so deep that till this day, I can still sing to their songs without the lyric book. And even my brother, who had been tortured by my incessant playing of Take That songs, can sing a line or two as well. On 10 Oct 1995, they were here for their concert, and I was there in the standing area, jostling with the crowd of hormone-driven, idol-obsessed, starry-eyed female fans. Ah, those were the days.

Sorry if the nostalgia is exasperating you. I guess I am just feeling old.

Will share what I have learned from the book of Philippians a later date.

Take my advice: don’t try listening to a song that you know will play incessantly in your head before you go to bed. It will only return to haunt you, like I’m experiencing now. Somehow, I woke up at 5 am in the morning, and since then, Jewel’s voice has been stuck in my head.

DON’T / Don’t walk too close / Don’t breathe so soft / Don’t talk so sweet / Don’t sing / Don’t lay oh so near / Please don’t let me fall in love with you again / Please let me forget / all those sweet smiles / all of the passion / all of the peace, the heat, the pain / all those blue skies / where your words were my freedom / Please, don’t let me fall in love with you again / Too many times I’ve cared too much / I stood on the edge / and say that you held my hand / and knowing too well / I couldn’t hide from those eyes / Please, don’t let me fall in love with you again

Was just reading an article sent by a sister in Christ, and I looked up amazon to find the book. One link led to another, and i realised that there were quite a few books written by apologists-turned-apostates (in their own words) who disclaimed the Christian faith. It despairs me to know that these authors who have gone to theological schools, obtained PhDs in divinity studies, and had fervently defended the faith, left their belief and now publicly denounce and attack what they believed. Some reviewers called it courageous, others noble, but I just feel sad for them. I don’t really have any other words to describe my emotion but ’sad’. And it is also sad to see their supporters calling Christians intolerent, judgemental and critical. And I guess if I would to try to defend my faith in response to these books, at least one of the three adjectives would be used on me as well.

But even as I am trying to make sense of this along with my feelings and thoughts, I recalled the word of God that in the last days, scoffing and deceit would abound (2 Thessa 2; Jude 1:18). So should I be surprised? I guess not.

Almost two months without a posting, and i muz say that much has transpired during this period. In short, I experienced the grace of God thru the S cube camp, had a short break in Bangkok, had a couple of friends coming for dinner and service, counted my blessings, and grappled with affections (and still is grappling with it).

Sitting through the service yesterday, I wondered if there were any transformation in my life the past year. I guess it’s paranoia, but suddenly I felt that there were no external changes after walking with the Lord. So what if there were enlightened understanding of God and His character, my relationship with Him, and issues such as suffering? Maybe it was self deception at work, leading to me to believe that the year 2006 had not been wasted, so that my pride would be preserved.

With so much introspection, i’m just worn out. I still trying to make some sense out of all these. Maybe I can, maybe i can’t