muses

Meant to update my blog earlier but my thoughts were very scattered and I didn’t know what to write exactly. In fact, my mind is always full of thoughts. But just because someone’s mind is full of thoughts means that she is intelligent. I’m just a pensive person, but I’m not a deep thinker. Anyway, my mind is usually very noisy. Like when I pray, I would have a million thoughts distracting me, and I’m very frustrated about the absence of stillness and silence. A sister mentioned to me about the practice of silence, and actually, I’m rather interested to find out more. In fact, I think this would be my mini project for foundation class (we were supposed to start examining a certain topic of interest, but I haven’t heard anything about it for weeks..)

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Anyway, a certain incident at work yesterday provoked me to think about submission to civil government. What happened was that my colleague bought someone a music CD for a gift and I joked in front of others in the department about ripping it before giving the CD away. OK, I admit it: I was half-serious about it. But as soon as those words left my mouth, I knew that those words could stumbled my non-Christians colleagues, and I really regretted speaking. What if they think that Christians and non-Christians are the same, that we have no regards for IP laws? In fact, my illegal jaywalking is also considered as rebellion to the civil government. And in my Bible reading, I’ve came across exhortations of submission to authorities (Titus 3:1). And you know what? I think it DOES amount to sin when I jaywalk or rip songs illegally, because it is in direct opposition to the word of God. Even as I’m typing this, I know that it sounds crazy and blown out of proportion. But just because everyone else is doing it doesn’t mean that it’s OK for me to do so. In fact, sin is sin no matter how small the matter is or even if it doesn’t seem to hurt anyone. And the word of God is never meant to just restrict; God said what He said to protect us because He loves us. And this is something that I am discovering as I delve into His word, just one of those bountiful treasures in this deep deep mine.

I was just watching the news with my father, and the report was on how Chairman Mao is still revered by the people in the country, decades after his death. Visitors would visit his hometown, which has turned into a tourist attraction, boosting the income of the folks in the town. There’s the bronze statue, large wall murals of his portrait, the whole works of the idolisation of one man. And my father laughed. He was amused because this was the man who advocated atheism (or ‘wu shen lun’, literarily meaning no god theory), and here’s the next generation of the country, some who are treating him like a god. I was amused too, but it only goes to show the void that man tries to fill with these idols and gods.

“There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus Christ.” (attributed to Blaise Pascal).

I need not say no more.

My brother bought this banana plush before Christmas 05. This is how it looks like:

And when he showed it to our mother, guess what she said it was?

.‘Gong Ji’ (Rooster in Chinese)

.And I was baffled. She just couldn’t see that it’s a banana, even when we said that it is. I couldn’t really see the rooster in the banana initially. Thank God for imagination though. And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the rooster, after some strokes with Paint:

Wonderful!

I just received news from a colleague regarding my possible 1-year permanent posting in my company (which comes after Jun 06). This has been something that I think of from time to time, because I don’t really know where I should and would go. The problem is that, here you have a Biology graduate working in a Utility company, and she has always felt out of place. When she tells her colleagues that she has a Biology degree, they would naturally ask her what she is doing here. Trust me: it only makes her feel more alien. And she doesn’t think that the things she did in this company would look impressive in a résumé.

I don’t really know what the future would be when my three-year bond is up. The only reason that I would want to stay here is that the work load has been manageable so far, and the pay is relatively good. In other words, it’s a cushy job. Sure, I may not advance to high places, but I don’t really care. All I want is to have a good income to continue to provide for my family and give back to God. And I know that I have no reason to fret or worry because God has been so faithful in providing for me all these years. As a young believer, I witnessed the goodness and love of God when He allowed me to go through university without worrying about fees and allowances. This really mattered to me as my parents’ jobs were not secured, our family wasn’t well-off, and my brother was also entering into university as well. And after graduation, I didn’t have to worry about job-searching. God has blessed me so much, more than I have realised or imagined. And you can’t beat what God has given to us: He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? (Rom 8:32). And reading the book, The Joy of Fearing God, this morning, I am reminded of this verse, Rom 8:28, ‘And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.’ My mind is now on the provision by God for me, but His goodness is more than that. It is to be conformed to the likeness of Christ. That, you can never take away.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! Having talked to some JC students a few days ago reminded me of the frenzy that this day brings to school. Flowers, song dedications, gifts, and… pranks (ok, I admit: I instigated one of them…). As the cliché goes, love is in the air, but for someone who never had a significant other to spend Valentine’s Day with, the air pretty much smells like any other day. Never mind. But as the world celebrates Eros love (i.e. romantic love) this day, the parting thoughts of the editor for Discipleship Journal Online News reminded me of the source of relationships:

Valentine’s Day. A holiday that can get people excited or fill their hearts with dread. For some it’s a time for sharing flowers, candy, dinner dates, or romantic cards. For others it’s a lonely reminder of relationships gone awry or yet longed for.

We all crave meaningful relationships. Yet with relationships come ongoing tensions and times of intense pain. Simply put, relationships are hard. They take work. They require commitment. Many don’t last. So why do we continue to seek relationship when “going it alone” often seems easier?

Part of the answer is that God created us for relationship. For us to have relationship with Him. For Him to have relationship with us. And for His creation to live in relationship with each other.

It doesn’t take any imagination at all to realize how God must have felt when He was rejected by Adam and Eve. Or how His heart aches when we in our own sinful ways, do the same thing.

But we can also see what true relationship looks like by God’s continued daily pursuit of us. His gracious love for us is the same as it has always been, even when we’ve behaved badly. And He still believes that having an individual relationship with us is totally worth it!

As He expresses to the children of Israel in Jeremiah 31:3, “The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.’” (NIV)

Yes, God created relationships. But I don’t think many would even think of Him at all today. Well, I know that I will have time to spend with my Abba and enjoy His love, on Valentine’s Day and every day.